I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
