I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
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we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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