is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
