i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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