i think my mom watched the whole time
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
