I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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