I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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