it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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