If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
