Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize