I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
