I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
