I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
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