As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize