weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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