i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
