that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
