He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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