She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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