Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
