And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
