im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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