don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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