I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
