so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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