you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
