Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
