jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize