I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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