Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
