Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize