Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
3pm strippers are depressing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize