There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
