Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
