I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just had sex bonerless
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
