Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
