just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
