Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
