Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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