He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
