YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
