Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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