just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
