I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize