ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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