She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
