David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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