We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I stole a fireplace last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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