Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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