Are we in a gay sports bar?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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