i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
