I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
