i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
