I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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