He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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