Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
