at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
