the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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