i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
