Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
